Best tips on How to Control Anger in a Relationship

The best tips on How to Control Anger in a Relationship are worth knowing because anger can cause a lifetime of regret


Learning how to control anger in a relationship is one of the best things you can ever do to save your marriage if you are a person who fumes easily when your partner refuses to listen to you.

Introduction to How to Control Anger in a Relationship

Yes, everyone experiences anger, and it’s a normal and healthy emotion, but it must always be kept at bay for the relationship to last a lifetime.


If you’ve been experiencing a rise in blood pressure whenever your spouse upsets you, then your best bet is to deal with it before it consumes you.

Anger, if left uncontrolled, can cause irreparable damage to your relationship. Here are the top tips for controlling anger in a relationship.

Best tip on How to Control Anger in a Relationship

Ready to check them out? Let’s get right in!

Detect Anger 

The first step to controlling anger in a relationship is by detecting the emotion as soon as possible before it goes out of proportion. Anger is pretty difficult to control once it’s in full motion, but early detection is always key to controlling it.


If you’re angry, the brain releases adrenaline, which is a fight hormone, thus causing a remarkable rise in blood pressure in order to combat the impending danger.

That’s exactly what happens when you allow your emotions to get the best of you as a person.

An emotional triangle may make the relationship difficult to work out again as your spouse may feel isolated.

You don’t want to reach out to a third party to agree with you when you are angry, but nothing is wrong with requesting help.

You will feel a rapid heartbeat, tension throughout the body sweating, and in some cases, trembling and this could spell disaster for your relationship if care isn’t taken.

When you recognize these signs early, quickly take a deep breath before it makes you unleash any physical response.

Take a Step Back 

Whenever you’re upset by your partner, you should buy some time so as to limit the angry response by taking a step backward. You can count to ten or go for a short work to ensure the high emotions reduce before going back in to save the relationship from the unnecessary crack.

You can take a set further by reaching out to a renowned therapist who’s not immediately involved in the escapade.

This way, you get to share what caused your anger and receive some admonitions about why you should take things easy. But you must also be wary of the emotional triangle.

If you’re in America, you can reach out to support groups such as Crisis text line for support. This way, you will be able to defuse the situation and have a clearer view of what caused the intense emotion.

Be the mature partner 

When there are discussions around themes such as family, money, and sex, you need to lock out your emotions from running the show for you.

Many people believe having diverse opinions about a subject matter is the major cause of conflict, but the truth is that immature reactions often lead to unnecessary confrontations.

If your spouse says or does something you resent, respond maturely rather than yelling and screaming at the top of your voice as a reaction.

You should never indulge in slamming the door or screaming at your partner when there are hot emotions coming forth. Be as calm as you can possibly can and continue to respond with a lower and most affectionate voice to get rid of the impending danger.

Keep an Anger Diary 

Another effective way of controlling anger in a relationship is by recording episodes of anger and precursors to its manifestation.

You should write what happened prior to the anger, what also occurred when you were angry, and how you feel immediately the emotions subside in you totally.

When you keep records of how you feel when angry, then this is the first and most critical step to controlling it. This way, you can easily understand which control technique you used to control it and how it worked.

There’s no point repressing the feelings that initiated your anger if you want to deal with it sustainably. You need to express them in a non-aggressive but assertive way, then keep records of all. This note can also assist in identifying thoughts that precede the actions.

Go for an Outdoor Exercise 

You don’t want to stay at home trading hot words with your wife or husband because you are visibly upset by their actions or statements.

This time is such a great moment to hit that gym and shed some extra pounds by channeling your emotions and feelings of betrayal into lifting weights.

When you engage in any physical activity, you get to reduce whatever stress has been on your shoulders to the barest minimum. You can also go for a run or brisk walk to ease off the tensions and emotions.

Employ the use of Humor 

If you have a good sense of humor, then the little disagreement with your wife isn’t something to get peeved at forever.

You sure want to use your humor to defuse the situation and lighten it all up again. However, you must not have sarcasm during this time as it can hurt your spouse and complicate the whole situation.

Forgive and Forget 

If you want to quickly get rid of the negative feelings resulting from anger, forgive and forget the whole thing that led to your being upset. If you don’t, there’s a possibility you may struggle a lot from the bitterness of yourself and sense of injustice.

Furthermore, if you find it quite difficult to control anger yourself, then that may be the best time to reach a therapist to avoid hurting your spouse by outbursts, thus damaging the relationship.

Conclusions on How to Control Anger in a Relationship

To be angry is pretty normal and human, so it’s expected that you will get angry at some points in your relationship.

Learning how to control your high emotions in this distasteful moment is one of the best things you can do right now.

Some tips shared above are useful, and proven tips you should consider so your relationship with your lovely spouse will not suffer serious damage from “mere” anger that you can control.


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